United Kingdom Jack and the Beanstalk: Cliffs Pavilion, Southend-on-Sea, Essex, 17.12.2024. (JPr)
The tagline for this year’s Jack and the Beanstalk at Southend’s Cliffs Pavilion is ‘The Giant Pantomime Spectacular’: ‘Spectacular’ it certainly is particularly with some amazing 3D effects (which I hadn’t expected) and ‘Giant’, perhaps not so much because of the panto’s ogre, as Rylan, its impressively tall star. In his first panto the instantly recognisable TV personality has huge charisma, a genuine talent, and proves be can really hold an audience as The Spirit of the Beans. In the brief moment he gets to sing with the others in ‘Ain’t No Beanstalk High Enough’ it recalls how he was a contestant on X Factor, and it was one of the panto’s few disappointments that he didn’t get a solo song.
Is it just the rosy glow of memory but I remember pantos having more of the actual story than they currently seem to. Last year at the Cliffs, J. M. Barrie’s Peter Pan disappeared under all Joe Pasquale’s – albeit hilarious – comedy shtick that he would do regardless of what the story was supposed to be. Now the plot of a traditional Jack and the Beanstalk – like some if its characters – was put in the shade by Rylan’s megawatt star power. He is the joke (as he readily admits in his programme biography ‘and he’s still laughing’) but he is also in on the joke as the butt of jokes with much fun had by all! You will need to have listened to his BBC Radio 2 show or watched Celebrity Googlebox to appreciate all the phone calls from his mother interrupting him throughout the show.
On the other hand, it cannot even be said that the love interests in Jack and the Beanstalk become secondary to what we see, in fact Jack Trot and Princess Jill (the engaging Toby Miles and Georgia Joan Clements) are virtually sidelined, as well as the evil henchman Fleshcreep (a waste of the experienced Nic Greenshields). The bulk of a classic panto antics are left to Rylan’s Spirit, Matt Cavendish’s Dame Trot (actually his first Dame) and Aaron James’s (very) Silly Simon.
The story – if you didn’t know it – is that the giant is hungry for ‘a prime rump steak’ and Jack and his brother Silly Simon are tricked into selling Daisy, the family’s cow, to Fleshcreep in exchange for a bag of beans. Princess Jill gets kidnapped too and taken to the giant’s City of Clouds and Stars and then gets rescued, along with Daisy, because Dame Trot threw the beans onto a compost heap and they grew into the beanstalk for Jack, Silly Simon and Dame Trot to climb up. After the giant’s ‘Fee-fi-fo-fum’ we get the first Essex-related joke ‘What do you call a collection of donkeys? Oh yes, Southend United!’ from Fleshcreep resulting in a loud ‘boo’, followed by a first ‘Oh yes you will! / Oh no you won’t!’ moment.
From then on it is basically up to The Spirit of the Beans to keep us up with what’s going on. Along the way you get everything you expect from a traditional panto: members of the audience get picked on, there is a ‘He says / She says’ tongue-twister (destined to allow the odd mild swear word to slip out), there are fart jokes and others that will make you either groan or laugh-out-load, as well as song and dance routines and a hysterical ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’ including ‘five ice cream cones’ (think Southend’s Rossi) and ‘three tooth veneers’ (think Rylan). Aaron James gets his chance in the spotlight with an incredible A to Z of impressions (from Arnold Schwarzenegger to Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust) that I suspect has featured in many of his clubs, holiday camps, and corporate evening performances throughout his career, as well as pantos. A few of his impressions – like some of his jokes – will go over the heads of the youngest in the audience but it was an impressive feat of vocal dexterity, nonetheless.
Overall, Jack and the Beanstalk is inoffensive, unsophisticated family entertainment given a showcase of garish costumes – with OTT (and beyond!) ones for Rylan and Dame Trot – and similarly colourful backdrops. Not forgetting the 3D which takes up a lot of the short second half. Make sure you pick up your glasses as you enter the auditorium – some around me didn’t have them and lost out here – and as we enter the giant’s lair there are skulls, bats, maggots, giant spiders, and a hand coming at you, and much more besides.
In a short speech at the end of the show Rylan said how he wanted ‘to say a massive, massive thank you to all the crew backstage that you don’t get to see’, they are as much the unsung heroes of any panto as the hardworking band of three musicians (we had already applauded them unseen) and an energetic ensemble of eight.
Jim Pritchard
Featured Image: the entire company of Jack and the Beanstalk during the finale.
For more information about Jack and the Beanstalk click here.
Cast:
Spirit of the Beans – Rylan
Silly Simon – Aaron James
Fleshcreep – Nic Greenshields
Dame Trot – Matt Cavendish
Jack Trot – Toby Miles
Princess Jill – Georgia Joan Clements
Creatives:
Writer – Alan McHugh
Additional material – Aaron James and Matt Slack
Director and Choreographer – Ashley Nottingham
Musical supervisor – Olly Ashmore
Musical director – Joseph Morley
Costume designer – Teresa Nalton
Lighting design – Alex Marshall
Sound design – Sebastian Frost
Special FX – The Twins FX