United Kingdom Cinderella: Cliffs Pavilion, Southend-on-Sea, Essex, 16.12.2025. (JPr)
Opening with the disembodied voice of Rylan’s mother, Linda, (sounding oddly like Michael Crawford’s Frank Spencer!) entreating the packed Cliffs Pavilion audience: ‘Are you ready for a good time [cries of “Yes”], oh no you’re not [“Oh yes we are!’], that’s much better, now sit back and enjoy this year’s magical pantomime Cinderella!’ Everyone certainly seemed too after a 100-minute show full of extraordinarily talented performers, music and much belly-laughter-provoking silliness which proves the perfect escapism for these dark winter nights and the ills of the current world.
Now the very thing I queried about the pantomimes at the Cliffs over the last two years hampers this Cinderella for just a few minutes and that is telling the actual story. Recently, J. M. Barrie’s Peter Pan was all about Joe Pasquale’s – admittedly hilarious – comedy shtick that he does regardless of whatever the panto is supposed to be. Last year, the fairytale events of Jack and the Beanstalk – along with some of the characters – were eclipsed by the megawatt star power of Rylan making his panto debut. The joke was on him too much of the time and there were constant (supposed) phone calls to him from his mother interrupting the show.
Forward to this year, Rylan came on the stage as the Fairy Godfather brandishing his magic wand in the first of an outrageously flamboyant series of winged costumes; and with just a brief ‘Hallo Southend!’ said ‘I suppose now I’m back in pantomime, better start speaking in rhyme’ and he introduced ‘the tale of Cinderella and her handsome, charming Prince.’ As the evening enfolded, I was back to the wonderful ‘traditional’ pantos I saw at the London Palladium when very young with, yes, star turns, comedy skits and sparkling colourful costumes, yet with a certain reverence to this most British of entertainments. (Admittedly, the garish sets appeared the same ones as for my last Cinderella at the Cliffs Pavilion in 2021 with Brian Conley as Buttons.)
Soon we meet Cinders – the engaging Oona Cox – singing ‘When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always go to Southend’ to the tune you will recognise as ‘Downtown’. Of course, hearing about the famous pier, cockle and mussels, and fish and chips is only the first of many local references, including Rylan ‘coming from a land faraway, Stanford-Le-Hope!’ There are the ‘aren’t we gorgeous?’ – in their own minds! – sisters Hernia and Verruca Hardup making Cinders’s life a misery and who are on the hunt for a rich man. Their gaudy costumes get more ridiculous as things go on. Suggesting that if Cinders tells tales about them to their father Baron Hardup she’ll be ‘geography’, ‘Don’t you mean history?’, ‘Don’t change the subject!’ Hernia replies, and from that – and Buttons’s ‘What’s a Shih Tzu?’ ‘It’s a zoo without animals’ – you get the baseline of some of the comedy, but it will still make you smile. Innuendo is kept to the minimum and while Ross King as Buttons introduces himself – singing The Proclaimer’s ‘I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) – with references to him being on TV’s Lorraine show and Strictly Come Dancing and more, it is not overdone.
Baron Hardup explains how he works at the palace as a court jester and the very funny Steve Hewlett, is one of a dying breed, a ventriloquist! (I wonder whether it needed to be explained to some children that his puppet Arthur wasn’t actually talking?) Ventriloquists used to be a staple on all variety shows but – and rather like magicians – have disappeared in recent years. Those of an older vintage will remember Peter Brough and Archie Andrews who even had their own radio (!) show. Brough’s lips moved constantly but Ray Allen with Lord Charles was the ‘guv’nor’ and his did only imperceptibly (I was too far back to see Hewlett’s). Later, Hewlett had Warren up from the audience as a human puppet with a half-face mask, something I have seen Nina Conti do before, and it was another side-splitting highlight of this Cinderella.
Throw into the mix a dance-off, Rylan’s Alan Carr impersonation as an old crone, another (unnecessary?) Southend song to YMCA’s ‘Go West’, some singing by Rylan (firstly ‘Tonight Belongs to You’ and then ‘Over the Rainbow’ which was interrupted by Buttons’s kazoo!), a ‘Somebody to Love’ duet for Cinders and the Prince, slipper-fitting, and the familiar ‘pop pickers’, ‘shirt short’ tongue-twister, and ‘If I Was Not in Pantomime’ sketches; and it was clear much fun was had by all. Feedback from the audience was on a high throughout the show, such that by the time the Prince has found his true love and Buttons ask ‘What should we do?’ with the sisters, an answer came back ‘kill them’; in fact, they were banished ‘to Gravesend’!
Rylan was of course Rylan! But let this not dimmish how good he was in this Cinderella. Surprising – at least to me – was how personable and genuinely funny Ross King was. There was a very hard working ensemble of eight dancers and singers and an excellent small band and the cast was completed by several other gifted performers; Djavan van de Fliert’s Prince Charming, Alexanda O’Reilly’s Dandini, and Nic Greenshields and Ewen Goddard – OTT and beyond, especially dressed as chandeliers at the ball! – as Hernia and Verruca.
At the end when Rylan made a short speech to thank everyone involved – band, backstage crew, ensemble and stars – and particularly director Ashley Nottingham ‘who has put this show together literally in two weeks’, you believed him when he said it was ‘a wonderful experience’. It was the same for us who were there.
Jim Pritchard
Featured Image: cast of Cinderella at the Cliffs Pavilion
Cast:
Fairy Godfather – Rylan
Buttons – Ross King
Baron Hardup – Steve Hewlett
Hernia Hardup – Nic Greenshields
Verruca Hardup – Ewen Goddard
Cinderella – Oona Cox
Prince Charming – Djavan van de Fliert
Dandini – Alexanda O’Reilly
Ensemble – Michael Afemaré, Sophie Cracknell, Amaris Pearl Gilles, Hannah Nazareth, Chay Needs, Poppy Sharman, Jayd’n Tyrone, Jacob Whawell
Creatives:
Director and Choreographer – Ashley Nottingham
Costume designer – Teresa Nalton
Lighting designer – Alex Musgrave
Sound designer – Chris Whybrow
Speciality Costume design and Construction – Mike Coltman
Musical supervisor – Rick Coates
Assistant Choreographer – Matt Jones
Special FX – The Twins FX
Band – Joseph Morley (musical director/keyboards), Andy Staples (bass guitar), Lee Morris (V drums)